Banana
by SoleilLumiere
Summary: This is silly... oh and the town of Banana actually exists in Queensland.


**Banana **

**Summary:**

This is silly... oh and the town of Banana actually exists in Queensland.

**Notes:**

Was chatting to gumnut-logic last night, complaining the the writing muse was well and truly out of the house (and on holiday in outer space to be frank - sorry for that), so she challenged me with one word.

Banana.

This is the result….

With thanks to corbyinoz for the beta which as always makes my work better.

**Work Text:**

Banana

Really?

Banana.

What the heck were people thinking?

Virgil watched as cattle moved past him, in a hurry to escape the nipping of the cattle dogs rounding them up onto the ramp of Two. Rising floodwaters from Cyclone Penny's washout had cut off many, and were now threatening the local township and surrounds, moving rapidly across the shire and spreading out towards other cattle stations, other towns, other people.

Cyclone Penny. Gordon had had a lot to say about the name as they flew here until their own Lady P had called in and raised one perfectly manicured eyebrow. He'd flown in silence after that, not even rising to Alan's baiting about being under the thumb.

Still; Banana. Why?

Virgil freely admitted his fixation on the fact that the local people had named the Queensland country town after a dun-coloured working bullock called Banana was a diversion. A diversion from the couple hundred head of cattle he was loading into Two's module before flying them off to higher grounds. A diversion from imagining gwhat a couple hundred head of cattle would do in the module and how long it would take to clean it up afterwards. A diversion from everything Gordon and Alan, currently sitting on top of the module "directing traffic" would be carrying on about for the next month or five, never letting him live it down.

"That's it, Virg! Operation Banana Bovine is ready for stage two."

Gordon was enjoying this, he could tell. Unlike Virgil, he and Alan were looking pristine in their uniforms. They'd stayed out of the tussle of getting the cattle onboard. The sideways smirk towards their youngest brother had just been just a little too smug. He obviously figured both of them would get out of the clean-up of the module afterwards.

Maybe they would, but Virgil had other plans to make his brothers suffer just to get his own back. He stepped up onto Two's cockpit lift.

"Thanks, Gordo. Can you and Alan help the Johnsons rounding up Belle and her little ones for the next trip? I'll be back in 15 minutes to ferry them to safety as well."

"Sure thing, Virg." Gordon answered at the same time as Alan called "Who's Belle?" Leaping down from the module's frame, the two youngest Tracy' looked around for the farmhands still on the ground. Virgil watched as they spotted them and ran out of Two's VTOL burn area to help.

The trip to higher ground only took Two just over a minute, unloading the cattle ten, so he would definitely be back in time, Virgil reflected as he surveyed the mess left by a herd of cattle who were scared out of their bovine brains by flying and had managed to deposit what looked like half a tonne of manure throughout the module.

"We can't thank you enough for helping us with the cattle."

Virgil turned to the weatherworn woman, somewhere in her fifties but with a grin and sparkle in her eyes that could outshine Gordon at his cheekiest.

"You're welcome," he grasped her outstretched hand and shook it. "It's the least we can do seeing as you have kept all the rescue workers fed and housed over the last few weeks."

"Yeah, nah that was no probs," she grinned. "You sent the shorter ones down to get Belle and her little 'uns?"

"Figured they needed to run off some steam after watching the cattle dogs do all the work with the herd."

"Ha! You make sure you send photos of 'em once they've got her onboard."

"Oh I'll do one better, they'll unload Belle and her family here so you'll be able to see for yourself how it turned out."

Virgil jumped back on the lift to the sound of hysterical cackling from the woman.  
"Hey Bluey? We're in for a treat, the short arse rescue guys are collecting Belle and her brood."

Landing back in the original paddock, Virgil could make out his brothers leaping and slipping madly in the muddy pen a few hundred meters away. They looked a lot muddier than they had 15 minutes ago. He lowered the ramp to the module.

"Virg! You need to come down here and help us!" Gordon called over his intercom. "God, the smell." Alan could be heard in the background moaning.

"I'm sure you and Alan can handle Belle and her family, Gordon. There are only three of the little ones. Although I guess they are somewhat slippery little suckers."

"Slippery! I'll give you slippery!" Alan yelled as he once again fell in the muddy pen. He managed to grab one small squirming mud-covered bundle and ran towards Two's module and the pen Virgil had set up. Three farmhands followed him, leading Belle on a short piece of rope and one of her babies as well.

Gordon was last out of the pen carrying another squirming bundle of mud, totally covered in mud himself including in his hair. He marched up to the module ramp.

"Virgil, open the door to the cockpit. I'm not staying in this cow dung filled room."

"Ah, no can-do Gordon. You're covered in mud now and I want to keep the cockpit as clean as possible."

"Virgil you're muddy too, open the damn door. I'm not flying anywhere in this cow dung infested module."

"I've got news for you, Gordon," Virgil engaged the VTO after making sure that everyone was safely onboard and Belle and her babies were in their pen. "You've just been cavorting with Belle and her babies, you're staying down there until we get back to base."

"What? No way!"

"Well, after you and Alan decided to dive into the mud to grab Belle and her piglets, you're now covered in pig shit. You are not coming into the cockpit."

"What do you mean, covered in pig shit?" Alan called out.

"What do you think the pigs do in their mud all day, Al?"

"Yeah, he's right mate, Belle and her piglets do like to roll around in their own shit during the day. That's why we keep 'em penned up," one of the farm hands drawled. "It doesn't get too bad until it dries. It's a bugger to get off then, and stinks."

There was silence from the module.

"Sorry bro, looks like you and Alan will be travelling back to base in the module." Virgil grinned as they came in to land at the higher ground. He watched as the mother swine and her piglets were led off the module ramp before closing the door and activating the VTO again.

"But don't worry, I'll call ahead to Brains and Scott. I'm sure we can hose you down when we hose out the module."

Virgil heard a groan over the intercom.

"Wave goodbye to Banana guys. Nice little town wasn't it?"


End file.
